Auld Lang Syne

This year has been a difficult one, not just for me but for a lot of people I know.  I think the best word to describe 2010 is TRANSITION.  People losing their jobs and/or relationships, wondering what they really want to do with the rest of their life or trying to make things happen but being met with resistance.  There seems to be uncertainty everywhere and everyone is just trying to figure shit out.

I thought that since I was completing my graduate degree this year, the relief and pride that comes with this accomplishment would make for one great year.  Unfortunately, the stress of finding a job coupled with other concerns didn’t allow for this to happen.  Spending six years in school to begin a new career at the age of 29 only to discover that there are no jobs in your field is extremely frustrating, needless to say.  I am frantically trying to make the TRANSITION from intern to full-time employee but alas, this isn’t in the cards for 2010.

I became completely reliant on public transportation this year for the first time in my life which was a huge TRANSITION but as it turns out, a welcome one.  I worked on my new year’s resolution to be nicer to people which was more difficult than expected but ultimately fruitful (and by “nicer” I mean “less negatively sarcastic”).  I fought with myself to come to terms with being open to the possibility of love again….and subsequently became quickly frustrated with the dating scene.

While the year was in many ways a tough one, if I’m being entirely honest, I learn more about myself from difficult situations than when everything goes as planned.  I spent much of the year in high anxiety, stress and worry, but in the last few weeks, I’ve just let it all go.  Regardless of what I want to happen in my life, I’ve done everything I can to get there so what comes next is out of my hands.  As much as I think that it’s important to identify areas of your life that need to be improved upon and then do something about it, there comes a time when you just have to say to yourself, “I’m going to just let life happen now.”  Understanding that this is all there is left to do has brought me a sense of calm and contentedness.  I’ve done my part—it’s time to just see what happens.  Sometimes the best things in life are completely unexpected and you can’t plan every last detail.  Changing my mindset from wanting to control everything to letting life happen has been a major and happy TRANSITION.

Can I help you pop your cork?

If you know me at all, you know I’m a huge fan of making New Year’s resolutions.  Every year I choose resolutions to improve myself that are almost entirely based on working on a particular part of my personality—to be nicer, more grateful, more observant, etc.  I’ve made the executive decision (which I can do because I am the CEO of my life) to give myself a little break in 2011.  I want to continue to work on myself but sometimes you just need to accept yourself as you are, flaws and all, rather than criticizing or identifying all of the things you can be improving.  I presented this quote from Deepak Chopra in an earlier blog but I think it’s worth repeating: “What will really make you attractive is not working on your weak points but embracing them.”  I’ve worked very hard on cultivating my various virtues for at least the last 6 years so next year’s theme shall be ENJOY (also to be known as FUN or LET’S GET WEIRD).  My 2011 new year’s resolutions are as follows:

Take a trip to Iceland (and buy a digital SLR to document it).

Iceland

Go to Lolla all 3-days.

Plan the best 30^th birthday ever (possibly another vacation?)

Let life happen.

 

Big things to come.  Watch out 2011.  Imma make you my bitch.

 

 

Postscript:

For those of you that are self-destructive, involved in constant drama or believe you often have bad things happen to you, the approach described above will not work for you.  When presented with major character flaws that interrupt, disrupt or interfere with regular life, you have to stop what you’re doing to work on bettering yourself.  It’s taken me many, many years to achieve the level of awareness and completeness I now have.  It’s okay to have flaws but when those flaws put you on a negative path that not only harms yourself but those around you, you have to recognize that those are the issues that need to be resolved.  Remember that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.